Body Language

Look ‘em in the Eye -This is the first and foremost important aspect when dealing with others, especially if you are meeting someone for the first time. It helps convey respect and interest in what they are saying. When this is shown, your listener won’t feel self conscious.  Beware not to be too intense and scare them away.  You want them to feel genuine warmth and a connection with you.

Stand up Straight - Most of us remember our mom telling us to stand up straight.  This meant more than we realized at the time.  Mom knows best.  When you straighten up and get your posture right you start to feel better.  Give it a try, next time you are having a bad day or in a negative frame of mind, observe how you are standing or sitting.  Your body language will project where your head is at for the moment.  All of this effects your breathing (which most of us forget to do half the time) which in turn can lead to increased anxiety and a tightening of the neck and shoulders.  When delivering a speech or talk, try to maintain a straight and confident posture.  It will not only effect the way you feel but your confidence will be conveyed to your audience.

What’s with the head - Now that you have the awareness on your posture we can’t leave out your head.  It is important that your head be level both vertically and horizontally. It you want to be taken seriously, the straight head position helps convey authority.  You still want to show you are engaged in the conversation and are receptive to what is being said.  If you tilt your head from one side while listening to someone in your audience, this will take the edge off of you trying to remain in control and in charge.

Stick ‘em Up - Arms are a tell tale sign on how open and receptive you are to everyone you meet and interact with, so keep your arms out to the side of your body or behind your back. This shows you are not scared to take on whatever comes your way and you meet things "full frontal". In general terms the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you tend to use your arms with big movements. Some of us naturally gesture quite demonstratively, other may be more inclined to keep their arms closer to the body.  Crossing your arms in front is a definite no-no.  Closed arms, closed mind. 

She’s got Legs - Since the legs are the furtherst point away from our brain they are the hardest thing to consciously control.  We may tend to move them around a lot more than normal when we are nervous or stressed.  It is better to keep them as still as possible in most situations, especially at interviews or work meetings.  Note the sequence of when your body is inclined to react this way depending on the topic being discussed.

Hand it over - Hand gestures are so numerous it's hard to cover all of the messages we send with our hands.  There are teams of people that review footage of people in the media to determine if the manner in which they shake their hand is showing aggression and dominance or equality.  Palms slightly up and outward is seen as open and friendly. But note this, the palm up, palm down issue is very important when it comes to handshaking and where appropriate we suggest you always offer a handshake upright and vertical, which should convey equality.  Never the limp hand shake, even if you are shaking the hand of a women.

Are you a Close Talker?  Distance from others is crucial if you want to give off the right signals. Stand too close and you'll be marked as "Pushy" or "In your face". While allowing people their personal space you don’t want to stand or sit too far away as it might be perceived as you "Keeping your distance" or "Stand offish". Pay attention to what the group situation allows and take note if you move closer to someone and they back away, you're probably just a tiny bit too much in their comfort zone. "You've overstepped the mark" and should pull back a little.

Pucker up - Our mouth sometimes says things without us even uttering a word.  Are you moving your lips while a person is speaking to you.  This could convey that you are either preparing to say something already without really listening or that you are in disagreement.  We may purse our lips which shows disapproval or maybe we are holding back on a thought we don't wish to reveal. Nevertheless, it will probably be spotted by other people and although they may not know the comment, they will get a feeling you were not too pleased.